It is interesting how we as husband’s too often focus on what our wives should be doing and not what we should be doing.  She MUST respect me, she must submit to me, she must obey me. Interestingly enough, the Bible never directly says that a wife MUST obey her husband. The closest you can come to it is in 1 Peter 3:6 when it states that “Sarah obeyed Abraham.” However, it doesn’t say Abraham made Sarah obey. Sarah made a choice to obey Abraham. Subtle, but significantly different. I would compare this attitude to that of Christ’s as described in Philippians 2:5-7b.
"Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant."
Just to be clear, nowhere in the Bible are husbands instructed to act as benevolent dictators and MAKE their wives respect, submit, or obey them. I would argue that is God’s job to work on their attitude. Thus, we are required to lead and influence our wives in a loving manner, putting them above our own needs, and seek their best interests. Scripture does have very specific instructions for husbands. We are exhorted to understand them and to show honor to them, to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her , and not to be harsh with them.,
What should be of paramount concern for us husbands is to do what the Lord requires of us, while allowing God to deal with our wives. Afterall, He is a big God and He can handle it. So, if we are going to be the godly husbands the Lord has us called to be, we need to stop worrying about our rights and what our wives are NOT doing, then seriously start asking ourselves HOW we can better do what God has called us to do. First, start with your relationship with the Lord and what can you own in the relationship. I would encourage you to ask your wife how you could be doing these things better, she is an expert on the subject anyway, then commit to JUST DO IT.
 1 Tim 2:11
 1 Pet 3:5b-6a
 It is my experience, if your focus is out there, on what she is NOT doing, YOU WILL NOT have joy in your marriage, this focus just produces bitterness in the end. You must focus on HIM, then what we should do THROUGH HIM, then…
 Eph 5:33b
 Eph 5:22
 On I side note, It is my experience, if your focus is out there, on what she is NOT doing, YOU WILL NOT have joy in your marriage, this focus just produces bitterness in the end.
 1 Cor 13:4-8a
 Mark 10:42-45; 1 Tim 5:8
 Eph 4:29
 1 Pet 3:7
 Eph 5:25
 Col 3:19
 There is one more instruction to husbands in 1 Cor 7:1-10, about giving our wives their conjugal rights, though that is another can of worms. Note it does say “right.”
 Mic 6:8