I recently read an article that stated the number one reason that marriages fail is because of the “failure to wed.”  Marriages fail because they are not able to become ONE and maintain that ONENESS.  We have separate accounts, we have separate views on parenting, we have separate views on spending, and we have separate views on… These individual issues become just a reflection of a deeper problem… the failure to fully wed!  “To wed” or “to become one” is a lifelong, ever changing process.

This process is difficult.  So difficult that for many Christians they are satisfied with the fact that they would NEVER get a divorce, while at the same time they sleep in different beds.  Many married believers truly dislike the person they live with.  And although it is admirable and Biblical to stay married; I don’t believe this is the picture that Christ intended for us as believers.  I would venture to say this grieves the Holy Spirit.  To technically be married, but figuratively divorced behind closed doors is sad.

Jesus prayed in John 17:11, “And I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one.”   Oneness on ALL levels is the heart of the Father, and it is what Jesus prayed for even as He prepared to go to the cross.  MAKE US ONE!

Many of us started off as ONE, but over time we lost track of the fact that we are all changing and growing.  It’s not enough to be ONE if we don’t maintain that ONENESS.   There is a responsibility that goes with marriage and that is maintaining ONENESS.   I was listening to someone’s testimony about their marriage, and they were making the point that they had changed.   And in light of that fact, she stated that it was her responsibility to communicate those changes to her spouse.  You can’t expect or assume they will just know or figure it out.  Because eventually those unmet expectations will grow into frustration.   As I change, I must intentionally and effectively communicate those changes to my spouse.  I must also accept that as my spouse changes, I must also change.  We must work together to maintain our connection and oneness, otherwise separation, division, misunderstanding, and ultimately divorce will creep in over time.

So, on this Marriage Monday, I challenge you to go to work to create, restore, reconnect, and maintain the oneness God intends for your marriage!  Lord, make us one!

Posted by Marc Stern with


One verse that really jumped out at me in this day’s Bible reading was Proverbs 21:2. It says, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the heart.” (ESV) How true this verse is for all of us! I have found many times over the years that if I am not praying to God and seeking His guidance in making decisions, even small ones, that some of those decisions that may look right to me are, in fact, not the right ones at all. After the fact, God has brought me up short and reminded me that I need to ask Him to show me where my heart truly is. “It seemed like a good idea at the time…” are famous words that make us chuckle ruefully at times, and when the consequences are much more serious, we may be weeping rather than chuckling!

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that every right decision is painless or easy. Regardless of the outcome of a decision, or its cost to us, if we ask God to lead us in a decision and be willing to change as He shows us His mind in it, we will have peace in knowing that we are submitting our fallible and wayward hearts to His sovereign and loving care.


Posted by Chad Mankins with

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