A TREE AND ITS FRUIT
Talking with God is easy. Just talk to Him. Then just talk to Him with your spouse. Welcome to session 2 of Soul Refiner. Soul Refiner is a marriage program that our Faith Bible Church Marriage Ministry will be offering.
“Lord help me talk to my spouse about the bad fruit growing on our marriage tree.” “And then Lord, be with us, send the cavalry, protect our words to change the bad fruit into good fruit as only You can do.” Be brave, marriage partners, as you discuss and prune. There is new growth in painful pruning. How to start: Remember to pray. God really loves our dependence on Him and will help us. Second - engage your brain before your mouth. You don’t start a discussion with a chainsaw on your marriage tree.
If you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired (H.A.L.T) - reschedule. How to fight: Fight fairly. Do not yell or curse or name call. Limit each spouse time to talk to 5 minutes each for each category: 5 minutes each for “the facts,” 5 minutes each for “how does that make me feel,” 5 minutes each for “possible solutions you individually can do” and finally 5 minutes for consensus. This conflict resolution does work well and is used in our Strong Marriages mentor program. Now you have to be vulnerable and confess your bad fruit. You need to recognize when you do not see good in your spouse. It is characterized by being too busy, blaming, withholding love and withholding praise, unwanted criticism, anger/silence, control over money, and roommate status. But you are responsible for you.
You are also responsible to be intimate with your spouse. You belong to your spouse and since intimacy on all levels is mostly mental you should talk to your spouse. Soul Refiner addresses Intimacy Anorexia (IA) really well. We highly recommend it, but we will leave the rest to you signing up for the course. The other spouse suffers from your bad fruit by feeling unwanted, unnoticed, worthless, and hurt. “They have to beg to be loved, heard, seen, or touched.” There is hope in your discussions. “By actively and intentionally giving the fruits of the Spirit to each other, the sin of withholding will decrease and your marriage can heal.”
Look forward to signing up for Faith Bible Church’s Soul Refiner starting in January 2021! Marriages are worth fighting for.
“Lord help me talk to my spouse about the bad fruit growing on our marriage tree.” “And then Lord, be with us, send the cavalry, protect our words to change the bad fruit into good fruit as only You can do.” Be brave, marriage partners, as you discuss and prune. There is new growth in painful pruning. How to start: Remember to pray. God really loves our dependence on Him and will help us. Second - engage your brain before your mouth. You don’t start a discussion with a chainsaw on your marriage tree.
If you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired (H.A.L.T) - reschedule. How to fight: Fight fairly. Do not yell or curse or name call. Limit each spouse time to talk to 5 minutes each for each category: 5 minutes each for “the facts,” 5 minutes each for “how does that make me feel,” 5 minutes each for “possible solutions you individually can do” and finally 5 minutes for consensus. This conflict resolution does work well and is used in our Strong Marriages mentor program. Now you have to be vulnerable and confess your bad fruit. You need to recognize when you do not see good in your spouse. It is characterized by being too busy, blaming, withholding love and withholding praise, unwanted criticism, anger/silence, control over money, and roommate status. But you are responsible for you.
You are also responsible to be intimate with your spouse. You belong to your spouse and since intimacy on all levels is mostly mental you should talk to your spouse. Soul Refiner addresses Intimacy Anorexia (IA) really well. We highly recommend it, but we will leave the rest to you signing up for the course. The other spouse suffers from your bad fruit by feeling unwanted, unnoticed, worthless, and hurt. “They have to beg to be loved, heard, seen, or touched.” There is hope in your discussions. “By actively and intentionally giving the fruits of the Spirit to each other, the sin of withholding will decrease and your marriage can heal.”
Look forward to signing up for Faith Bible Church’s Soul Refiner starting in January 2021! Marriages are worth fighting for.
by Steve Sagué
Posted in Marriage
Recent
Archive
2024
January
A FRESH STARTPOSTURE OF FAITHHEAVENLY BODIESTHE BLESSINGS OF THE RIGHTEOUSI AM WILLINGGOD'S SOVEREIGNTY OVERRULES MAN'S DYSFUNCTIONJESUS IS LORD OF THE SABBATHLIVE OUT WELL THE TEACHINGS OF JESUSHOLD IT CLOSEOPEN MY EYESWHO DO PEOPLE SAY WE ARE?NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GODWHAT IS YOUR IDOL?GOD'S CHOOSING
February
March
May
August
September
2023
January
WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER?RESOLVING CONFLICT AND DEALING WITH EVILWHAT KIND OF FRUIT DO YOU HAVE?GOD IS PROUD OF HIS SONPEACE IS A FUNCTION OF FOCUSTHE HEALING POWER OF JESUSGOD CALLS YOU BY NAMESMOKE AND MIRRORSBE A LIGHTWISE WORDSEXODUSCHOOSING THE RIGHT PATHGOD SEES AND HEARSWHO IS THE GREATEST IN THE KINGDOM?WARNING AGAINST FOLLY
February
March
HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOUTHE PLACE OF COMFORT AND SAFETYIT'S THE LITTLE THINGSBE ALERTMY GOD IS NOT TOO SMALLWHEN TO SPEAK AND WHEN NOT TO SPEAKGOD IS GRACIOUS TO USKEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUTSTAND STRONG FOR YOUR FAITHOUR HOPEDO I DO WHAT THE LORD ASKS OF ME?DON'T BE A SCHEMERA TREASURE HUNTLISTEN AND FOLLOWWORDS OF COMFORT OR WARNINGTHE POSSESSOR OCCUPIES AND FILLS THE POSSESSEDUNDIVIDED LOYALTY TO GODONE CONCESSION STAND
No Comments