DAVID, A MAN AFTER GOD'S OWN HEART
I expect you’ve heard that phrase before. In 2020, I began dealing with present and past unresolved hurt and pain in my life. That hurt and pain affected my marriage and my soul. As I began to work on that hurt and pain, I had to be willing to open old wounds, think and talk about difficult memories. As a result, I have been battling cynicism lately. I’ve been reading in the Psalms. Manuel and I were talking about King David the other day. I was sharing with Manuel that I’ve been angry at King David lately. I was struggling to see him as ‘a man after God’s own heart’. David had over 700 wives, one was not good enough; he took another man’s wife and killed him to have his wife and cover his sin; he completely rejected some of his wives after they had been raped by his son (whom he wouldn’t deal with as a father); his wives were innocent victims, but now, no longer good enough; and when he was old and cold and couldn’t be warmed by blankets (bless his heart), he needed yet another woman- a young beautiful virgin woman to care for him- his wives still not enough… did I say I’ve been battling cynicism?
What frightened me most was where the cynicism took me. You see in seeing all of David’s faults, I became critical of his claim of how much he loved God, His word, His promises, His statutes, His laws… MORE THAN ANYTHING… he instead became a Jerk with a capital J. How could he claim all this devotion, worship, adoration… with all that sin, that junk in his life. The next step into this chasm was to think of myself as better than David. I DID love God, His word, His promises, His statutes, His laws… okay, I wouldn’t go so far as saying I loved them ‘more than anything’ –I know how far I fall short of God’s grace. Step three into this chasm was to be angry, critical and doubtful of God’s love for ME- personally. Why was it necessary to go through this past hurt and pain? Why wasn’t God healing me more quickly? When would I have the marriage I dreamed of—the marriage without pain, conflict, drama…
Manuel on the other hand, when reading David, battled failure and shame—he’d read how David meditated on God’s word morning, noon and night; David sought the Lord with ALL his heart, loved God and his word more than anything. Manuel could only think about how far short he was in comparison to David. Manuel, therefore, when he read the Psalms and read for instance “ I am blameless, come and rescue me” would stop reading or finished reading without hope because he wasn’t blameless and didn’t expect God to answer him as He did David.
In our conversation, we both realized—David’s story in the Bible is not there so that we would put David on a pedestal; but that we would see God in all His glory and grace; that we would see how God loves us, just like He loved David –even while we are sinners. You see the central character in David’s story, our story, shouldn’t be ourselves. The principle person in our life should be the power and person of Jesus Christ –who He is, what He does and will do in our lives as we humble ourselves to Him in love, obedience and worship. However imperfect David was, the fact remains, he did humble himself before God in love, obedience and worship and God commended His love toward him, just as He does to me- to us.
Jeremiah 31:3 reads, "the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, I have continued my faithfulness to you." In the midst of difficult circumstances, it is easy to get so focused on what is not right in our lives to the point that we forget the best part of our life—that we have the everlasting love and faithfulness of the One True God. He is faithful to us because He is faithful. He loves because He IS LOVE. I am grateful, I praise Him, I rejoice that His faithfulness is not contingent on my faithfulness—I would be eternally lost.
Although I do not want the struggles of life or of marriage, I am grateful that through them I am brought to my knees before my Lord where I find His grace to help me in my time of need. I am grateful that He never leaves me or forsakes me. I am grateful that when I seek Him, I always find Him. I am grateful for HIM. He is worthy of all my worship and all my praise. He is the one true God. He is God Almighty.
What frightened me most was where the cynicism took me. You see in seeing all of David’s faults, I became critical of his claim of how much he loved God, His word, His promises, His statutes, His laws… MORE THAN ANYTHING… he instead became a Jerk with a capital J. How could he claim all this devotion, worship, adoration… with all that sin, that junk in his life. The next step into this chasm was to think of myself as better than David. I DID love God, His word, His promises, His statutes, His laws… okay, I wouldn’t go so far as saying I loved them ‘more than anything’ –I know how far I fall short of God’s grace. Step three into this chasm was to be angry, critical and doubtful of God’s love for ME- personally. Why was it necessary to go through this past hurt and pain? Why wasn’t God healing me more quickly? When would I have the marriage I dreamed of—the marriage without pain, conflict, drama…
Manuel on the other hand, when reading David, battled failure and shame—he’d read how David meditated on God’s word morning, noon and night; David sought the Lord with ALL his heart, loved God and his word more than anything. Manuel could only think about how far short he was in comparison to David. Manuel, therefore, when he read the Psalms and read for instance “ I am blameless, come and rescue me” would stop reading or finished reading without hope because he wasn’t blameless and didn’t expect God to answer him as He did David.
In our conversation, we both realized—David’s story in the Bible is not there so that we would put David on a pedestal; but that we would see God in all His glory and grace; that we would see how God loves us, just like He loved David –even while we are sinners. You see the central character in David’s story, our story, shouldn’t be ourselves. The principle person in our life should be the power and person of Jesus Christ –who He is, what He does and will do in our lives as we humble ourselves to Him in love, obedience and worship. However imperfect David was, the fact remains, he did humble himself before God in love, obedience and worship and God commended His love toward him, just as He does to me- to us.
Jeremiah 31:3 reads, "the Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore, I have continued my faithfulness to you." In the midst of difficult circumstances, it is easy to get so focused on what is not right in our lives to the point that we forget the best part of our life—that we have the everlasting love and faithfulness of the One True God. He is faithful to us because He is faithful. He loves because He IS LOVE. I am grateful, I praise Him, I rejoice that His faithfulness is not contingent on my faithfulness—I would be eternally lost.
Although I do not want the struggles of life or of marriage, I am grateful that through them I am brought to my knees before my Lord where I find His grace to help me in my time of need. I am grateful that He never leaves me or forsakes me. I am grateful that when I seek Him, I always find Him. I am grateful for HIM. He is worthy of all my worship and all my praise. He is the one true God. He is God Almighty.
by Patti Calderon
Posted in Marriage
Recent
Archive
2023
January
WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER?RESOLVING CONFLICT AND DEALING WITH EVILWHAT KIND OF FRUIT DO YOU HAVE?GOD IS PROUD OF HIS SONPEACE IS A FUNCTION OF FOCUSTHE HEALING POWER OF JESUSGOD CALLS YOU BY NAMESMOKE AND MIRRORSBE A LIGHTWISE WORDSEXODUSCHOOSING THE RIGHT PATHGOD SEES AND HEARSWHO IS THE GREATEST IN THE KINGDOM?WARNING AGAINST FOLLY
February
March
HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOUTHE PLACE OF COMFORT AND SAFETYIT'S THE LITTLE THINGSBE ALERTMY GOD IS NOT TOO SMALLWHEN TO SPEAK AND WHEN NOT TO SPEAKGOD IS GRACIOUS TO USKEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUTSTAND STRONG FOR YOUR FAITHOUR HOPEDO I DO WHAT THE LORD ASKS OF ME?DON'T BE A SCHEMERA TREASURE HUNTLISTEN AND FOLLOWWORDS OF COMFORT OR WARNINGTHE POSSESSOR OCCUPIES AND FILLS THE POSSESSEDUNDIVIDED LOYALTY TO GODONE CONCESSION STAND
April
OUR GOD IS HOLY AND JUSTA CAUSE FOR OBEDIENCETELL THE COMING GENERATIONTHE PARABLE OF THE RICH FOOLSHINE YOUR FACE UPON USLISTEN UP!CHECK WITH GOD FIRST - HE KNOWS MORE THAN WE DOPSALM 86THAT IS ENOUGH SAIDDO YOU REMEMBER?TRANSITIONSSERVE ONE ANOTHERPROVERBS“Insignificant Does Not Equal Insignificant” (Judges 6)
May
JESUS IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!FINISHING WELLARE YOU THE TEACHER OF ISRAEL AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS?FORGETTING GOD IS DANGEROUS TO YOUR HEALTHREPENTANCE BRINGS MERCYGOD'S SOVEREIGN TIMING IS ALWAYS RIGHTWHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?A GODLY FATHERJESUS CARES FOR US - HE'S OUR SHEPHERDWHO DO YOU LISTEN TO?CARELESS SPEECHCONTINUE TO SERVE GODUNDIGNIFIED, HUMILIATED, AND GLORIFYING GOD!CLEAR PROMISESMEPHIBOSHETH AND THE KINGTRUST IN GOD'S LEADINGJESUS DOES THE FATHER'S WILL DEMONSTRATING LOVE FOR HIS MOTHER AND WAS GIVEN A KING'S BURIAL
June
A CLEAR PURPOSEWHAT IS TRUE WISDOMTHIS IS THE GOD WE SERVEHANDLING RELIGIOUS OPPRESSIONDO EVERYTHING FOR THE LORDMAY OUR FACES SHOW LIKE AN ANGELARE YOU FEEDING YOUR FAMILY - OR BUILDING A CATHEDRAL?FREEDOM FROM SLAVERY AND FREEDOM FROM SINUNITY TAKES ACTIONTRY IT, IT WORKSGOD'S WORDA PSALM OF KING DAVIDJEWS AND GENTILES AND SALVATIONARE YOU COMFORTABLE ENOUGH?THE GREED OF GEHAZIWORSHIPPING A KNOWN GODGOD KEEPS HIS PROMISESREASONS WHY WE SHOULD PRAISE THE LORDGOD'S AMAZING CREATION
1 Comment
"David had over 700 wives, one was not good enough" As far as I can find, he had 8 wives.